foreva lOve

2006-12-24T21:18:00.000-08:00

keep your drink just give me the money!

Ahahah Merry Christmas people.

2007 is coming I DON"T WANT 2006 TO BE OVER SO SOON!

I'm feeling loved these few days. :D Oh and thanks for all the christmas SMSes :D

Okay I've got nothing to say byebye!

2006-11-24T05:09:00.000-08:00

Reached home from the dance camp this evening at around 7p.m. feeling extremely tired. However, I had a spanking good time over there in spite of me being incredibly weak. The camp was good, and i got to know a lot of people, that are actually just the same people I see in school everyday, better. Not all the sec twos came, sadly. Mildred, Eileen and Er Jie were Missing-In-Action, but regardless, we had fun.

Nicole has officially become our games trend setter. (HAHA. --;;) We would play all the games that she plays and invented. Not just once, but alot alot alot alot of times. Anyway, Nicole and I was lame-ing away, trying to think of a skit for the evil baby. heheh. It's a wonder what people will do when they get bored. But, nevertheless, it was still quite funny, even though we are the only ones who are super enthu about it.

shan't elaborate anymore, lest it gets boring.

:OOO
I LOST MY WALLET AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN
AGAAAAAAAAAINNNNN!

*

Ahh, my most sincere apologies for the terrible lag in updates, yours truly is procrastinating on her schoolwork AND cca. Please excuse me. C :

Such a great load off my shoulder... For the time being. :S

2006-10-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

goodbye, goodbye
Well, well.

*grins*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*pouts*
GAWD, it's the end of my secondary 2 school life! Sigh. So many things have to come to a standstill and then slowly erased from my life. No more gathering at j.e.c! No more making fun of sushi and the aliens! Worse of all, NO MORE HAVING LESSONS TOGETHER AND LAUGHING AT THE TEACHERS! Sigh.

Friendships though, deeply etched in my heart, will definitely go on and stay for a long time. Even with us taking our so many different paths, and being separated to different classes, I'm sure all of us would have a place in each other's heart for a long time coming.

Or is it so easy to completely erase one from another's mind?

*
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favourite things.

Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleighbells and schnitzel with noodles.
Brown paper packages tied up with string
These are a few of my favourite things

When the dog bites,
when the bee stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

(:(:(:

Sometimes all you need is one simple song to get you through a long tiring day.
*

Strange how people just seem to fade away through no fault of theirs or ours. They just do, and yet we'll remember the good memories they left us, yes? (:

2006-10-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

...Haha. Yesterday was 25 minutes ago. 25 minutes ago, it was yesterday. Yesterday and today.

Looks like I may be able to survive, after all. I already survived 25 minutes. 26 now.

What am I doing...

And why am I typing all that, when all I wanted to do was post a damn post. Whatever. I should sleep. Sleep is the best remedy for troubled deep thoughts. Dreamless sleep. Yes. I need a potion for dreamless sleep. Like in HP And the Goblet of Fire. Oh. by the way, i bought The Notebook and even though i have read it before, I couldn't stop reading. Haha. I have lots to read. The notebook,Blankets which which i borrowed from the library a few days ago; I read a chapter already, and I have to finish A Bend In the Road. Lesson learnt. Always have more than one bookmark. Yes. I think I'll go buy the one I saw in Gift A Name. Or was it Cards N Such. Whatever.

There you go. Books diverted my attention. That is wonderful. Books are my potion for dreamless sleep. Oh. No. I will dream about the books instead. Damn. Vivid dreams always make me tired, lethargic. The last dream I had was weird. It was like an adventure mystery story, involving a weird merry-go-round that I sat which had me dazed. Yes, dazed. Even in my dreams I can be dazed. Don't laugh. I couldn't forget the merry-go-round. It was like being in a trance. Yes I know. Absurd. Fancy being in a trance when you're already asleep.

Oh man.

Whatever. I do hope I survive today without any.. complications. Today is crucial to my emotional well-being. Or mental well-being. Okay. It isn't that serious. I was only exaggerating.

Ah well. No one will understand this anyway.

I should sleep. Wake up bright and early and get on with schooling. Boring. I know. But I'd rather today to be mundane. I'd rather today be a boring day for me. I hope I forget today in time to come.

A day, after all. So much can happen in a day. So little can happen too. I'm wishing for the latter with all my might.

Goodnight.

2006-10-04T02:22:00.000-07:00

and as the surface breaks reflections fade.

What the hell can or not.
Go away can or not I don't like.
*

I've never been
The one to raise my hand
That was not me
And now that's who I am
Because of you
I am standing tall
My heart is full
Of endless gratitude
You were the one
The one to guide me through
Now I can see
And I believe
It's only just beginning

This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud

I guess I've learned
To question is to grow,
That you still have faith,
Is all I need to know,
I've learned to love,
Myself in spite of me,
And I've learned to
Walk on the road that I believe.

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved
To be loved

This is what we dream about
But the only question with me now
Is do I make you, do I make you proud
This is what we dream about
Never been afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
Do I make you proud
Do I make you proud

And I know just why you could not come along with me.
This was not your dream.
But you always believed in me.

Inner strength. Inner strength.
Inner strength.

2006-08-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

Hello darlings.

Today Shu Hui went to Habour Front with Shu Ying, Clarine, Li Lin and Yi ling, FOR FOOD. GLORIOUS FOOD. Then they went shopping, and she bought a present for Sherry and Jesslyn leaving her broke.

... Crap why am i talking like this?

anyway,

TEEHEE.

Shu Hui goldmaid has completed her Chinese reflection and is actually feeling quite satisfied about it. If qian-bian-face-astroboy-allan-ho thinks it's not good enough he ought to go to hell.

Hahahaha okay that was evil. MMMMMMM. So now I'm revising for chem cos there is a chem test this coming Friday! And there's maths test next week. AHHH. THE KILLER MATHS

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I HATE MATH.

ok. i digress.

It has been a long long time since i last blogged and much has happened since the last post.

Slowly I begin to understand that people can start out the same but they may end up being vastly different. We had lots in common before, but we found different priorities in life, I guess. You chose an image-conscious whatever-makes-me-happy-now life while I found security in long-term investments.

Then I was thinking to myself how this is like a state of continuum and how mortally afraid of mundane monotonous life I am cos I'm like doing the same thing over again every morning and how I hate that.

Then I realised that this is only how I think and to continue thinking this way would be to shortchange myself of the simple pleasures in life. I don't think I make much sense but never mind!

Shu Hui is in quite a happy frame of mind right now. : )

But elaboration is not needed, and I'll just satisfy myself by announcing

MUGFEST HAS BEGUN ANYONE WANNA JOIN?

hahaha.

2006-06-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

What is schooling in Singapore?

Got it from chewy's blog.

Have you...
[x] skipped class?
[x] hugged someone in school?
[ ] gotten detention?
[x] cried in school?
[x] made new friends?
Total: 4

[x] got dropped off at school?
[x] heard a rumour about yourself?
[ ] gone to school under the influence?
[ ] had something illegal in school?
[x] missed school when you weren't sick?
Total: 3

[x] failed a test?
[ ] failed a class?
[x] made up an excuse for homework not being done?
[x] the teacher believed your lame excuse?
[ ] crushed on a teacher?
Total: 3

[ ] hit on a teacher?
[x] hated a teacher?
[x] involved with a sport?
[ ] on student council?
[x] in a club?
Total: 3

[x] got a scholarship?
[x] got an award?
[x] fallen asleep in school?
[ ] gotten in trouble for falling asleep in class?
[x] had your phone go off in class?
Total: 4

[ ] had your phone taken away?
[x] lied to a teacher?
[x] laughed so hard you cried in class?
[x] ate lunch in the bathroom?
[ ] missed a week of school or more at once?
Total: 3

Do you/Did you/Will you?...
[x] enjoy school?
[x] excited for summer?
[ ] taking summer school?
[x] had a summer job?
[x] going somewhere?
Total: 4

Now add it all together and multiply by 2.

Title "My School Year is 48% exciting!"
24*2 = 48%

2006-06-04T23:46:00.000-07:00

Homecoming

Today when I woke up the first thing I did was to try to speak. Succeeded after clearing my throat several times. BAD SHI XIAO for spreading her virus to me. SHEESH. okok. I Know i can only blame it on myself that i ate too much heaty food in west malaysia. Anyway. I'm home. After a 3 days 2 night learning journey in west malaysia.

We went for the forest trail and canopy walk. It was fun, yet scary and tiring. I was dripping wet from perspiration and my muscle was aching after that. Every movement I make seems to trigger off a muscle that hurts real bad. Had a helluva time walking and perspiring in the forest, with the falling flowers from the trees and the mosquitoes and leeches eagerly waiting. We were suppose to take note of the plants that are growing there and admire the nature while walking to the suspension bridge, but i ended up staring at the ground all the time, afraid that i would just trip over a stone and toppled down the hill. -.- After half a million light years, we finally reached it. The suspension bridge was swaying dangerously lorh. My legs was shaking like crazy. Luckily, it is only 200m long and i completed it. BUT! it was not all.. There is still a need to climb down the hill and it was hell. We have to step on stones and the stones ar slippery because of the river. Clarine and yiling fell into the water.(LOL--;; haha)

Oh yes. The fireflies boat ride. It is such a beautiful sight. The flashes of light from the fireflies and sky was.. woah. "天上星星数不清，每颗都是我的梦~” For that, I don't regret coming to malaysia. haha. I want to come out at night more often liao. I read in White Oleander, where Ingrid Magnussen said something about "Dawn has a way of spoiling the night magic." I totally agree. Night seems to exude some kind of mysterious yet alluring magic, which day has no possession over.

The seafood dinner was HEAVENLY. There were actually bugs in the food itself. @!#^!@$. And i killed a bee... BY ACCIdENT okay! ='(

And the hotel was creeeeeppy. So we ended up having seven people in a room instead of only two. lol.

On the other hand, Shu Ying, Sherry, Eileen and me went to j.e.c to eat when we reached Singapore at at around 7.30, till 9+. Had a great time eating and joking abt. =) All in all, a wonderful night, ending in me being very drenched in fatigue by the time I reached home and i went to sleep immediately after bathing.

2006-05-30T03:25:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been one of rejuvenation.

I finally felt as though I have time for everything instead of walking around in circles trying to figure out what was left undone, which task had a pressing deadline when really, there was nothing to do.

The workaholic's life is so not for me, thank you.I could do with a few more weekends like this. =)

However, I must not forget what this June was intended for.I'm going to do well for terms. I'm going to finish my homework by this weekend. Where, where is my motivation? ): I need you so badly.

In other news, I'll be given this amount of money from Mommy dearest to go shoppppingggg. I have a feeling that she's only feeling generous at that point of time when we approached the topic. I aso have this nagging feeling that she is actually regretting it, but oh well. She can't go back on her words so. (:

I'm going to save it for malaysia trip because malaysia has much more variety to offer than Singapore, and at about the same prices. And here I am momentarily reminded of that pink shop in Far East that really sells those pinky school uniform kinda clothes along with knee-length socks. Hello, in sunny Singapore? *cringe* Ha.Then again, who wants to go late night shopping? I know Bugis street's open to midnight on some days. I have been there loads of times, but it's fun to go poking around street markets at night. (: Alright, anywhere's fun to be at night.

I'm going to the food fair with sister and mom! Yay. This is the life.

"It's to dying in another's arms, and why I had to try it." -Konstantine, Something Corporate.(:

2006-05-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

As this page loads, various things are going through my mind all at once. They are diverse, of happiness, of contemplation, of doubt and of a tinge of sadness. So forgive me if this entry is fragmented and makes no sense at some point, for I could not help it.

And hence..

It is strangely therapeutic as I sit in this room where the only source of light is the table lamp and the monitor, dressed in a tee and fbts and warmed by an overlarge black hoodie, damp hair, looking through old and new pictures, reminiscing, listening to the drone of what I cannot live without aka the aircon, and Vanessa Carlton's Who's To Say.

Who's to say that we aren't getting stronger?
Who's to say that I can't live without you;

Time really does make fools of us. I've officially spent 12 weeks of secondary 2 life in River Valley High School. In this period I've experienced a tumult of emotions. There are times when I berate myself endlessly for coming here when I really should be in BPGHS so I do not have to grapple alone with unpleasantness I come across in this school. Yet, there are also times when I reassure myself that coming here was the right decision to make, and that I am indeed blessed to have met wonderful friends like those in 1A and 2A.

1 term down. Lots more to go. I'm not sure if I can deal with even more 12-week periods, but I'll try. I must not forget my goals. All in all, RVHS has been relatively interesting and who knows, I may even miss it in the course of the June holidays, though I doubt it very much.

Lt's talk about other stuff. 8 hrs of dance today. Collographing finally completed. Sustained yet yet yet yet a few more bruises here and there... LOL

Anyway yeah i went to lot 1 to eat after dance, alone and while i was eating, the spoon flew away from my hand and landed near another person's table...

Alright, that's probably the most interesting thing that happened so I shan't talk about other stuff. Life's boring...

Currently I'm uploading the neoprints i took with eileen and yan tong onto friendster. It is already my third try. I am the soul of Patience today. But in case this remarkable trait decides to vanish and I am left, once again, with my own patience (or lack thereof), the pictures may not be up when you visit it because I have probably hammered the computer into pieces due to the failure to successfully pictures.

Ahhh the times when i used to practice dance with yan tong and eileen. The fun we had poking fun of dumb wispy in sims 2. Taking ridiculous videos. ~~If I could relive those days, I promise I wouldn't let myself be trapped in that melancholy like last time, and I would enjoy every minute of life instead of being bitter.~~

Holidays. Time to adjust my bioclock so that 1) my sleeping hours are not split into two sessions at dusk and the wee hours of the night and little snatches of sleep caught in between ~~and during lessons.~~ 2) my waking hours are not plagued by fatigue.

And when we realise, beyond any doubt, that anything that has rightly started, has ended, and we will, once again, be FREE.

2006-05-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

INSTRUCTIONS.
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment at their blogs.
4. If you are tagged the second time, thereis no need to do this AGAIN.
5. The most impt rule: have fun doing it.

My perfect lover:

1.) should own a:
car
condominium
credit card
truckload of cash
2.) Cute, sweet and caring
3.) Is handsome, or just, dropdead gorgeous (HAHAHAA (; jesslyn!)
4.) does not smoke or take illegal drugs
5.) does not put himself down
6.) does not put me down
7.) Allows me to pinch/thwack/hit when i am angry
8.) In short, it is simply the guy in xian jian qi xia zhuan a.k.a li xiao yao, or sth. (FWAHAHA)

and yes. The person is a male.

Anway, I'm just listing randomly, there is no such thing as PERFECT lover as no one is perfect? No one is perfect to everyone, BUT!!! Someone can always be perfect in your eyes. li xiao yao possesses all of the qualities mentioned above. HEY HEY! i'm just kidding right here. hehehe

People i wanna tag:
1.) Eileen
2.) Yan Tong
3.) Li Lin
4.) Jesslyn
5.) Jaslin
6.) Pei En
7.) Shi Xiao
8.) Hai Wei

I don't care if you all have done it before already or not lorh. hehehe. DO AGAiN DO AGAIN! lOls

2006-04-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

if the burden is mine then i can carry my own

It's time for some third person POV don't you think? (;

Shu Hui was a happy girl today despite it being a Moanday and her tendencies to have Moanday blues.

Perhaps it was the fact that 2.4 run went fairly well seeing that she had passed and improved by 1min. Though getting an A is a totally different matter. Shu Hui does not dare to hope beyond her wildest dreams that she will actually ace in running 2.4 this time round, seeing that she had only trained once for 2.4 which is during the mock test.

Or perhaps it was the fact that the day after Moanday is a Tuesday which basically means LESSLESSONS Day. The prospect of this results in Shu Hui being in a constantly happy mood all day long although it has been slightly blighted by the fact that there is CCA tommorow. Shu Hui seems to be not at all bothered by this since she has Yan Tong and Eileen to accompany her in dance. She worries, however, that Ying Ting's ballet shoes will not be dried by tomorrow as she have just washed it but Shu Hui is a worrywart by nature so let's not waste time on her incessant worries.

Shu Hui is sure that there will not be science fair on Wednesday due to the upper sec having examinations. And the more she thinks of it, the happier she is as there is finally a day when she can go go back home early.

And so ends this peculiar entry. Apologies if you can't understand the post, Shu Hui can't be bothered to string her incoherent thoughts into coherent ones.

EDIT**

OMG! Kevin Kern is coming to Singapore! I want to watch him play piaaanoo!!

2006-04-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Yet another pig'd in

WAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

What a piggy day today! Practically slept and slept in the early morning, then woke up a moment to pick up a phone call, then went to sleep again till 12+pm.

CID project meeting completely slipped my mind...-.- AHHH! anyway:

Jian Qin's being retarded...LOL. Hilarious lah.

Oh, while Hai Wei, Pei En and I were walking down a pathway to the bus stop, there was a huge patch of HUGE RED ANTS on the pathway. We didn't realised that they were ants initially and walked innocently down the pathway, stepping on the ants. Pei En was the first to find out and she went like:"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~ ANTS ANTS ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTSSS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" One ant that was climbing up my leg then bit me and i started shrieking and hopping around trying to shake off the ants that were climbing up my legs.(haha) Hai Wei and I then flew frantically to the bus stop while Pei En hops there, as she took off her shoe to shake off the ants, and was too lazy to wear it back... Okay lah. It is because i was holding on to her shoe. fwahaha.

After that, Pei En and I decided to go back to take a photo of the ants. =x We then went to jec to eat and talked till 7p.m. Lol.

In short, today is fun and I'm happy. (:

It doesn't take much to be happy after all. All we have to do is look around carefully and we'll see that even wildflowers can be beautiful as red roses, that all that is worth living for is already with us. (:

p.s. I promise to blog more often okay! Won't disappoint you people anymore! *draws halo above head* x) Better publish fast, someone is asking me what is taking me so long to "blob" (HEE HEE=x)!

2006-04-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

wipe your tears away. they don't need to see you cry.

Woot.Its amazing how amazing you feel when you XIANG TONG LE. Yeah.

To truly feel content is the greatest blessing.

It doesn't matter how much you want something. What's yours will always be yours. What's not; well you just have to live with it. But when karma denies you of something you really desire, it will always give you something else that will make you even happier to make up for it.

And that is why I chose to wait for what's mine or whatever that's given to me to compensate for my loss of whatever's not mine.

Just wait and see.

L, O, L, O, L, O, V, E, L, O, L, O, L, O
did you hear me say!
Love is an energy, love is a mysteryLove is meant to be trueLove is a part of me, love is the heart of meLove is the best thing we do

And I said, Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
God, I miss you

2006-04-13T05:18:00.000-07:00

then I would never let you go

LOLLLLL.

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extraordinary
E is for elephant.

2006-04-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

and i can scream until the world goes deaf

I hate Sundays because Mondays mean school.

You know, Monday blues. I have a really bad case of Monday blues. It's worse than say, PMS and monthly cramps. Although I have to confess I RARELY have cramps. Bwahahaha.

Homework! Results!

I miss the old 2A-ians. ): I may hate the way things are the way they are (HAHA.) in the old 2A but I love the people in it.

School tomorrow. Have been online all day long. Si Han is halfway done, Maths is not done at all, I have yet to do any research and thinking on the effective communication debate. And i am scared of getting the results back.

In a nutshell! Today is an unproductive day and times like these make me feel that I am a wastage of earth's precious resources.

I need to focus.

2006-04-08T21:11:00.000-07:00

Dance yesterday was not that tiring because i went off at 10.30 to go Sentosa for class outing. Then left at 2.30 to go to airport to send the thai buddies off. It was ok at fiirst and i wasn't feeling that sad, but when they had to leave, i started howling like mad (so does everyone else, just that i have got more tears. LOL. --;;) It is all saddening and oh yes, the securrity guard... He was laughing at all of us... And cake was sooooo so so sweet. I wonder what will happen if i had decided not to go and stayed on at Sentosa. I know i will definitely regret it.

I really hate her for having to leave.But it's not her fault. It was never anyone's fault.

That's what's frustrating.

Agony is when you helplessly look on and could do nothing. A grasp so tight can only get you so far. What's important is affinity. This is something that I would never, ever learn.

Regrets are unlike sorrow. Sorrow will fade in time, and you will eventually get used to it, but regrets will always stay on like laden deadweights which grow heavier with every regret added. You don't get used to regrets, and you wonder how would it be had you not made the wrong choice.

2006-04-07T06:46:00.000-07:00

I cried real tears of grief
the deepest grief one can imagine
The grief of "letting go."
it's the hardest kind.
Letting go of the past events,
of the future accomplishments,
of the dreams you had.
The task is a formidable one.
I cried many tears of grief yesterday
and the day before.
And I'm sure there are many tears left for me to shed.
But someday i will finally"let go" of what was
and i will accept "what is."
The task is not an impossible one.
- Elise L. Hesser

Cake will be leaving Singapoe tomorrow.

All of a sudden,

Heartwrenching.

This song is for you. YOU RAISE ME UP, by JOSH GROBAN. =)

I forgot to hold eternity in the hour. - William Blake

Thank you, for the memories. Rest assured I'll hold them close, always.

..

And the curtains close, for the final time.

I know i am gonna miss you.

2006-04-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

you turned your back and walked away in shame

I have a theory. When you hate someone, you're jealous. It's true.

Won't elaborate. Think about it.

2006-03-31T08:51:00.000-08:00

I know! It has been long since I last blog, yet I heard that there are a fair few that still visit my blog to check out for updates... A giant apology! *bows 90 degrees*

Anyway just a quick update on my life now. Exams are finally over and i screwed up my maths and geography paper...It's so tough!! And i thought i could cope, but i was dang freaking wrong... The injustice of all. =(

Some people say you'd get used to secondary school life soon after you've spent enough time but, I'm still not done with complaining about the stress and fatigue.If you have to compare stress level and fatigue level and also expectations of students, no need to compare with my sister, her college should be more than double that magnitude! My poor sister,she seems to be doing work at all time of the day, wonder if she even have enough sleep to begin with?

Speaking of sleep, i would just love to sleep right now because i feel totally tired after all the term assessments. However, i am here blogging as i am waiting for my hair to dry. Too lazy to use the hair-dryer you see. X))

Anyway, i think i am becoming more and more like a nerd and anyway(again), i think in secondary 2 life, you can't afford not to be a nerd. Nerd doesn't mean looking like one lah, but as in after school, we meet up at J.E LIBRARY to study together. Okay, i know... that's because there is exam the next day... =X

And now that my hair is almost dried, i shall go and embrace my bed. here i come~
Adios, amingo.

In the process

2006-03-25T18:24:00.000-08:00

In the Process

...of studying ("wow, she actually does?") for my term assessment.

Blogging might become stagnant.

Good luck to those taking examinations too. =)

Love,
Shu Hui, a.k.a princess of goldfish.

2006-03-14T01:33:00.000-08:00

Just thinking.

Superficiality.

The world really is superficial.

A friend's blog said something like "Some people just have to bat their eyelashes to get whatever they want, and just because I absolutely refuse to do stupid things like that, I lose out."

And how many times did this statement prove to be true? To me, lots of times.

Because people have their own beliefs and values to uphold, because they are special and unique, yet they cannot keep things that way.

Because the real world requires us to go with the flow. Because the real world means that we are all robots that follow the same lifestyle.

They say that this is a colourful world and everyone is special. True enough, but everyone's uniqueness is being suppressed and locked inside them, and no one has the courage to unlock the lock that binds the soul, which would have been so very easy to unlock.

I believe that each and every one of us should have a set of values to live by, and be proud of it. Its the way to inner peace, isn't it?

Like there are certain things that I wouldn't dream of doing, levels that I would not stoop down to.

And then some people will say, "Yeah, just because you live by your values and refuse to change, you lose out. That's how the way it works. So live with it. Either go with the flow and not lose out, or refuse to change AND lose out."

But, going against yourself and your beliefs to conform to a system you probably do not approve of, would you be happy doing this?

I know I wouldn't.

grr

ohoh and i am currently wearing the pointe. My toes can hardly breathe. LOL.

2006-03-13T03:10:00.000-08:00

Am feeling zany today. =D

attacked by millions of invisible mosquitoes today. or maybe im just allergic to something. dont know. all i know is i'm so stinky by the end of dance that im actually ATTRACTING FLIES. River Valley's holding site promises really to be warm, both in actual temperature and in emotional sensation! I'm not kidding, that school is really warm, as in as long as you are there, you would perspire, even if you are in a air-conditioned room! ok. Whatever.

Dance at first was confusing and intimidating! WHAT lah, sometimes me also scared! Haha! But thankfully, I had managed to get over it and catched the steps.

I hate today. Am totally tired out. physically and emotionally. and guess what. I have to reach bugis at 9.30 tomorrow to buy pointe. we didn't have to meet this early but Jia Hui have got something on in the afternoon.. and you get the idea. And that means that i will have to wake up early tomorrow too =O gee, thanks a lot Jia Hui. -.-

oh yea. i successfully sustained YET another another injury. thank god it is not very serious. i ONLY got away with a nice round looking red bruises on my knee. gee. shall tell everyone about this great acheivement. =X

2006-03-03T05:02:00.000-08:00

Shu hui was lying in bed an hour ago trying to get to sleep but unfortunately the attempt was not successful. She then decided to go online once more to type about unimportant matters on her blog just so she has something to do. She did not bother going online on MSN because she intends to dutifully go back to sleep after rambling on her blog.

Shu hui would also like to remind all who visits her blog that her tag board is very cold which has no more than 1 tags per day, if her calculations were correct, to tag.

On another note, Shu hui's sister has just watched Final Destination 3 and her sister told her the entire story. She did not seem to like the story line very much although her sister says her friends thought it was enjoyable. She would like to add that she would strongly recommend this movie to those who are researching ways of dying a gory death, which include tanning beds and nailguns. And horses if you like them.

I might also add that Shu Hui has not suffered from any nightmares, contrary to uh. some people's beliefs, just that she is having some depressive episode.

To digress, Shu hui has a mosquito bite on her little toe. Her sister had a good laugh about it.

Shu Hui marvels at her attention span as she jumps to yet another topic totally unrelated to those above. Still, she has been wondering about infinity and parallel universes for quite some time now. For example, numbers can go on to infinity. But they are in a way restricted because no matter how long they go, they will always remain numbers. Quite a paradox, if she may put it that way. Of course, Shu hui's arguments are usually not very detailed and convincing, so go on, disagree with her.

Infinite possibilities are also a fascinating thing. Shu hui looks forward to the day when it is declared the Anything is Possible Day so she can watch parallel lines cross, so she can go parachuting and land on a fluffy white cloud like what happened in her dream.
Shu Hui has now decided to go back to sleep lest you people think that she has gone mad, or she has become crazier than ever before. As a parting note, she would like to add that typing in a third-person POV amuses her to no end and she would like to do it again someday. It's quite fun.

2006-02-22T04:11:00.000-08:00

Science fair~!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

I'm so very HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYY!!

For the moment.

2006-02-19T05:18:00.000-08:00

...HAPPY THOUGHTS!
HAPPY THOUGHTS!

...
...
....
.....

HAPPY THOUGHTS LAH
DAMNIT.

Oh. I shouldn't swear, really. My sister told me how bad it is to swear, especially for a girl. Ah well. I don't agree with the girls-shouldn't-swear-because-they're-girls thing, but I keep swearing recently. I ought to change. -.-"

Anyway. HAPPY THOUGHTS! =D

Okay. Hypnotising yourself isn't going to work.
and therefore..

YOU'RE SUCH A BLOODY BASTARD
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

okay. back to reading chi newspaper. hahhaaa.

HAPPY THOUGHTS=D

I HATE YOU

2006-02-18T06:08:00.000-08:00

I broke. Snapped. Crumbled. Disintegrated. Torn. Shreded.
....Fell.

no one there. no. not a single one.
.
.
.

"and so i cried."

" No one was home. No one was there for me. Either I had pushed them away,
or they had distanced themselves. It wasnâ€™t important how it happened. The fact was, I was alone and that meant there was no one to hide my pain from. I certainly couldnâ€™t conceal it from myself."

"because she was as lost as I was. I cried for her naivetÃ© and the sorrow she would not let me understand. "
.
.
.
.

"and so i cried"

- The Strength Of Eternity

and so i cried. four words. so simple. yet it made such an impression on me. hahas. And i hate you. You shithead, dang, jinglebell, dingdongbell...My shallow mind has not yet figured out why i'm such a depressed and frustrated soul recently. lol. even if i had the someone to talk to, i wouldnt have talked. i wouldnt know where to start, where to end, what to talk about.

.....it's like giving me all the happiness in the world.without telling me that.it would all change into grief the next second.the injustice of it all. someONE tell me i didn't deserve all that. i had a weird dream last night. so symbolic. it makes me so scared.time to go. away from the fantasies and hopes and dreams of my world. back to the realities here.

I lost in the end.
still succumbed.
i still do.
and i thought i've won after all these days already.
never was and never will be.
isnt it? i have told myself to believe it.i have told myself i did it.but then, deep down in my heart,it never was the case.

But i cannot fall i cannot fall.

if i fall i can never climb back up.
even if i climbed up.
everyone else would have gone ahead of me.
i can never reach to them.
i can never catch up with them.

that's why,
i cannot fall.

........STUPID. off to do my chi. i am a nerd. i am mad. therefore i spout nonsense. do nonsensical stuff. and i lalalove doing homework. doing homework is so cool. i love it. i do homework every single minute of the day

.....LOLs. who am i kidding hahahahahahs.

cheer up you!

and you and you and you and

you!

i love

you!and you and you and you and

you!

2006-02-10T08:02:00.000-08:00

I am so so so happy.

so so so excited.

=)))))

Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday will be the day after tomorrow. Wahahha.
Shall be going to Tiong for the humanities town planing project (--) and eileen and yan tong is coming over after that. For onece i don't think i am going to tidy up my room. LOL. Still rushing my homework. There are like tonnes of them =X. Shall stop here to do my hw. Muahaha.

Sunday is coming~ nahahah

2006-01-27T02:25:00.000-08:00

Zhang ZiYi and the girl who acted as Chiyo is so very very chio!!

And yar, Memoirs Of A Geisha was greeat. (:

Went back to WDP today... Nothing much to do there except to eat the seafood soup. LOL. Went to watch Memoirs Of A Geisha after that.

and btw...

='(. i promised to take it down.. Lol.. But it is sure funny

2006-01-21T20:24:00.000-08:00

You leave. They leave.

Why?

Why do people always leave? Not physically. Sometimes we know they exist, but we never feel their presence. We never feel that warm glow radiating from them that says "I'm always here, for you."

For that statement is nothing but a hoax.

And so, is associating with such people worth it? Yes. Always yes. We loved them, that's why.

We hate them for their departure. But the reason for that hatred is because we loved them. It's so simple. Yet so complicated.

We cry. We shed hot and angry tears. We blame them. Maybe it was our fault. Maybe we didn't bother as well. Or maybe, we couldn't. It was just too impossible to salvage a relationship that has gone to pieces because of unwilling parties and complacency.

Nothing lasts forever. We hear that cliched declaration all the time, from the wise sages to the common fool. We never comprehend it enough to make preparations. Nothing is forever. Change and only change will remain constant.

We've changed. Maybe that's why. You don't care anymore. And I badly wanted to. I always did, but you never noticed. Maybe you never cared that I cared.

When we reflect back, when we lament the loss, we feel sad. It IS sad. We always proclaim, friends forever. Love forever. We'll keep in touch for as long as we live. Forever forever. If all that were true, then forever isn't forever. It probably means a few years.

Why do people always leave? So many maybes, so many questions that follow.

Why?

Tell me why. Maybe I'll feel better after knowing.

It just hit me that we are going to split this year. One whole year of memories and friendship, a year of fooling around, cheering, singing together, encouraging one another, crying together and knowing some true friends that i woundn't have made have i not come to river valley...

The milestones are those memories that will forever stay.

2006-01-19T03:14:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAO LAO DA JIE!!!

Omg, my lao lao da jie is so old. She has turned 14... LOL

And yes. Today is Shu Yun's birthday too and me, clarine, jaslin, yiling aand hai wei, gave her a beautiful bottle and i gave lao lao da jie, Xiang Yun, a lovely bookmark from gift a name.

Oh yes. Pei en's birthday is coming too and i shall give her a present =)

Have been rather unlucky these few days. Everything just seems to go wrong... And i have a fun time with Sherry, Xiang Yun and Daniel today. I have not been updating for quite a while and i shan't write about what i did for the past few days. LOL. Because i can't remember exactly what happened, except that we went out of school on tues to take pictures for art =)

January babies~

2006-01-14T05:44:00.000-08:00

My mom concluded that what i actually did today was just to eat sleep and watch tv and i realised how true it is. Lol... But it isn't entirely my fault. And i do want to go to the Rv 5oth anniversary concert. ='( This is the most friday the 13th of the fridays of 13th. Lol...

2006-01-12T00:24:00.000-08:00

I dont' know what the hell is with me today. I was so unlucky for the whole day. Shall not give details except for the fact that i have been really really unluck =X and i shall have to go now. Lol. To sleep.

*yawn*

2006-01-11T04:02:00.000-08:00

Y.E.S, G.S.T!!!

Yes, we rock!!

2006-01-09T05:19:00.000-08:00

Uncertain. There was always no valid explanation for the vivid heartache. Trudging home alone, after being washed by the waves of disappointment, only to be threatened once more by the drops of rain landing on clothing, staining the material with wet little spots, which evaporate quickly after. But it never stops, and soon enough, you never knew if the wet spots were really just the rain, or the salty tears rolling down from the cheeks. You never knew if the sound of the heart breaking was muffled by the sound of the dragging feet, or if there were any crevice not already deep enough.

Unreachable. You will never know what they thought until you have heard it from them. You will never know when you will ever hear it from them. They never told you if they even cared. For you knew that they were never certain with every step they took, and if they made the decision for real. You knew that you had to be prepared to face it all one day. However, you knew that little voice in your head had been telling you, that things might never turn out the way you think.

Undaunted. Or are they? Do they know how much you want to surrender to the utopia of their every wish and desire?

She. Appearing strong and undeterred. She is but a woman. Living only in his very existence. But somehow, she feels captured, by none other than the epitome of her own doubts. One by one, they shadowed her, gripping her so tight, suffocating her. How can she ever feel secure? How can she ever escape from the harrowing tentacles of grief? Can he embrace her in his arms, setting her free from the agony she experiences in the absence of his assurance?

Only close to you, do I finally feel free.

I know I have fucking lousy writing. But hell, not like anyone should really care, because this is my blog, my views, my style, so you can fucking go to hell if you want to criticise my post. I just needed somewhere to vent on, okay? Urrgh.

Now, I better start talking about myself.

I am still alive, though constantly in a state of utter confusion and despair. However, I believe that there is always hope for something, as long as you are willing to fight for it. And today is the first swimming lesson, and i am like shi bai? AHAHAH. Moreover i have such a nice swimsuit that i stand out amongst the crowd... T.T Shan't say too much about today's swimming lesson, lest i embarass myself. Lol. Oh yes. Eileen and Yan Tong is coming to my hse tomorrow. I better tidy up my room. --;;;

2006-01-07T01:09:00.000-08:00

~~This life has killed the dream I dream.~~

I used to tell myself to never lose the light. I used to be able to come up with something remotely comforting. I can even practise selective denial if it makes me happier.

Killed the dream? But what dreams do I have of in the first place? Are they even realistic? But even realistic dreams are unattainable at times.

Now that everything and everything else has come to a close, I am at a loss. Never lose the light, never lose sight of what you are aiming for? What is it that I was working for? I've forgotten.

Be free. How can anyone be free, when there is and will always be something holding you back, something that maintains a strong unbreakable connection with you?

There's a feeling I get,
When I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking.
-Stairway To Heaven

For in these haunting winds..

Nobody can stay emotionless. Nobody can walk away understanding everything. Everything wasn't meant to be understood.

Remember that, and maybe I'll be happier.

Have been rather depressed nowadays... To think that i have been rather happy a few days ago.='( went to J.E.C with eileen and yes. We did have fun. Too bad yan tong wasn't there. G.S.T without a S.='( And i met samuel there too... Lol...

2006-01-05T01:21:00.000-08:00

Lily pads float on the surface, a huge mass of green, shadowing over the dark, inky water. Just like velvet covered with green glossy sequins.

Only tonight can you detect, far in the distance, amongst the soothing green - a single flower, a tiny blotch of white amidst the moss-like mass.

I am surrounded by friends, hoards of them; I feel that I know so many people, that I am sometimes at a loss when someone asks me who my closest friends really are. Some of my friends out there, close or not, are the people that really made my life on Earth worthwhile.

The lily pads around the single lily were suddenly yanked from the surface of the water, and then returned to the surface, severed and tattered, some even on their flip side.

You doubted me. I was oblivious. The world knew, and I was ignorant. The world whispered fragments of the truth in my ear, then, I was jolted to reality.

The beauty of the tiny white flower is tarnished by the ruins around it.

I only wished you reasoned it with me personally.

However, the inky black of the water around the lily, now less blotched by the severed lily pads, brought out the brightness of the white flower. Its ability to shine regardless of its battered surrounding enhances its beauty.

It will never falter.

2006-01-04T04:33:00.000-08:00

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955

I hope that my achievements in life shall be these - that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. ~C. Hoppe

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello

Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around. ~Buddy Buie and J.R. Cobb, "Rock Bottom" (song)

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne

2006-01-03T05:08:00.000-08:00

lollll. My feelings corresponds to my sis's latest MSN nick.

"Eh? 2006 liao ah? Orh. Okay. -shrug-"

Welllll I don't know about you guys but every New Year's Eve leaves me wondering whatever happened to the year and why the hell did it go so quickly.

It still feels very 2005-ish if you get what I mean.

Anyhow, the first day of school has been normal...

----------------------------------------------------

I won't make any new year resolutions this year. For one thing I can never remember what resolutions I made at the end of the year. I think to-do lists will just do the trick. Nahhaha.

There's this book by Amy Tan. Saving Fish From Drowning. Nice title right? I wonder who has it so I can borrow. Hahaha.

And oh damn I didn't know the drama production Oi! Sleeping Beauty!! is over already! I wanted to watch it la. ><

Well, then. Shall be off! And The Notebook (the movie) is awesome! Like the book. Hahaha.

2006-01-01T06:19:00.000-08:00

What a surf over the tidal wave!

I'm talking about my MOOD!I am the luckiest, happiest woman on Earth. I only have one depressing post this week! Wahahaha. I am not depressed. -.-" Not recently lah. lol.

...Or maybe I am. I'm grieving over Dumbledore's death. ='(

Oh but sis said, "DON'T WORRY. The corpse is just a magical substitute. In the next book Dumbledore will appear again and Harry Potter and Voldemort and Dumbledore will sit down together to have tea and try to work out their differences."

I have recently re-read Harry potter and The Half-Blood Prince.HAHAHA. I wonder why Harry Potter can't be our literature novel... LOTR will do too... But why Macbeth?? ='(

ok. I digress.

Earlier on bell wished me a happy new year and i was really happy!! And we have a nice chat.=)

kaes it is getting late and i have to get up early tomorrow.
adios, amingo.

2005-12-31T22:55:00.000-08:00

It's like you're walking amongst a huge crowd of people, and you have to get somewhere but you don't know where. Or rather, you forgot where.

It's like the emptiness that exists just swallows you up.

No sense of direction; aimless.

Lost, because you didn't try to be found, didn't want to be found.

It's like knowing the people you meet, but you don't really know who they really are. You don't know how dependable they are. Because no one, absolutely no one, can be totally dependable. And we all make the same mistakes all the time, relying on someone to bring us comfort, happiness. Relying on someone as instable as you.

So in the dark recesses of your heart, you know it had been you struggling alone all along. And it always will be, because no one will understand, and you wouldn't let anyone understand anyway.

2005-12-30T01:45:00.000-08:00

because i couldn't resist (=

It has been a long tiring day...

2005-12-29T14:39:00.000-08:00

Lame = Crippled = Limping = ME.

I SPRAINED my ankle while rushing for the traffic and trying to sms the same time. And just they day before yesterday, I fell into a drain. It wasn't even a gaping-big-enough to-know-not-to-go-near-it HOLE. It was one that fitted my foot JUST NICE and I fell up to my thigh into it, causing a SPRAIN in my knee, and a few scrapes. And I didn't even hit the bottom. It's just that nothing further than my thigh could fit in.

And yes. I have just got another of my teeth extracted. And I met claire on the train after that.

HOW UNLUCKY. And it's not anywhere near fucking Friday the 13th yet. DAMN.

2005-12-28T21:27:00.000-08:00

Life is so boring nowadays except if you count being cooped up at home doing nothing as meaningful.

And earlier on I was humming Amarantine tune and my sister said "SHUT UP." After that SHE started humming Amarantine tune so obviously I told her to SHUT UP. And then I started humming the tune too cos it's VERY catching and she said "SHUT UP." And so on, you get the picture.

My sister is a maths genius. When she has the answer sheet. Lol.

It is currently 2.35am. I have just finished reading another book. I have read two new novels after The Note Book and The White Oleander and they are so fanststic, that even my mom could finish reading it. (My mom can't even finish a book of reader's digest..)And now my head is spinning. Too much of new knowledge. *shivers* i am cold like hell... Hey wait. Hell isn't cold.

my calculator is rebellious or it is just sleepy like my sister said

let's see if i make sense to myself.. hmm. i guess not .

2005-12-27T09:07:00.000-08:00

First up!

http://syfc.org.sg/christmas05/whoiscarol.htm

This is cute. Although it IS kind of late. Hahaha.

I just read this Darwin Awards thingie. It cracked me up lol.

Darwin Awards 2005
>>
>>
>>
>>Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin
>>Awards are
>>bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the
>>glorious
>>winners:
>>
>>
>>
>>1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended
>>victim during
>>a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot
>>did
>>something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
>>and tried
>>the trigger again. This time it worked....
>>
>>
>> And now, the honorable mentions:
>>
>>
>>
>>2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
>>cutting
>>machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to
>>his>>
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
>>its men>>to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
>>The
>>chef's claim was approved.
>>
>>
>>
>>3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>>during a
>>blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
>>taken the
>>space. Understandably, he shot her.
>>
>>
>>
>>4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
>>driver
>>found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
>>transporting from
>>Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
>>incompetence, the
>>driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there
>>a free
>>ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
>>telling the
>>staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
>>fantasies.
>>The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>>
>>
>>
>>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
>>head
>>wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
>>the
>>injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
>>close he
>>could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>>
>>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
>>counter,
>>and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
>>man pulled
>>a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
>>promptly
>>provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
>>the $20
>>bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
>>drawer... $15.
>>(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime>>committed?)
>>
>>
>>
>>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
>>that he'd
>>just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
>>booze, and
>>run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at
>>the window.
>>The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
>>head,
>>knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
>>Plexiglas. The
>>whole event was caught on videotape.>>
>>
>>
>>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
>>grabbed
>>her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
>>was able
>>to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
>>minutes, the
>>police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove
>>back to
>>the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
>>stand there
>>for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.
>>That's
>>the lady I stole the purse from."
>>
>>
>>
>>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
>>a Burger
>>King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
>>cash.
>>The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
>>register
>>without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
>>said they
>>weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
>>
>>
>>
>>A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!>>
>>
>> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
>>parked on a
>>Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
>>arrived at
>>the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
>>near
>>spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
>>trying to
>>steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
>>sewage tank
>>by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
>>saying tha
t>>it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>>

Stupid people are aplenty. Hahha.

Life is absolutely great.

And Yuan Tao is such a cute and lovable kid.

2005-12-25T07:44:00.000-08:00

AND I LOVE X'MAS

and i love orchard and bugis and bishan junction eight too.

Have been shopping there with my mom this few days. And because of my sis and dad having to work even though of christmas, only me and my mom were left at home to celebrate christmas. So, me and my mom, together with another pair of lonely daughter and mother, went shopping together, first at bugis then to somerset and finally orchard to have a feel of this festive season. And i saw kah liang and jie cong at bugis. wahaha. Can't be bothered to call them. Come to think of it i seem to be bumping into alot of my primry school friends at bugis. Saw Mei Xia at bugis the day before there too and wave to her like crazy. haha. btw. Never try walking from hereen to far east. It's a damn long way.

And oh yes. My dad bought turkey and cake home to celebrate christmas and we ended singing christmas songs. --;;

So much for a merry christmas.

But nevermind. Today is still great because Christmas is great. It means so much more to me than to many others. It's the whole family gathering thing that makes it so heartwarming and enjoyable despite us not being Christians.
And. I am happy (=

2005-12-23T05:22:00.000-08:00

Unrelated

To reinforce yesterday's post.

There is love, and there is life. There is a challenge, the challenge to live. The challenge to upkeep life to the most desirable standard. A challenge that you and I have to take.

Then there is hate, there is horror, there is death. Things that banish us to the bottommost of our epitome, that leave us stranded on our own island, hanging on the thin thread of misery.

Human beings are a great discovery, the living bodies with the greatest of minds, able to develop every ability, able to achieve greatest of heights, able to contribute to the world.

Human beings are complex. Yes, we dominate the world, bend it to our every wimp and fancy, and there is not much need to think twice, for there is no other breed that rules above us, and we give the last word. Yet deep inside every one of us, we are vulnerable; we will only go where the tide takes us, where we find comfort, where we can build everything to our desire.

Where did hate come from? Where did hurt and grief originate? Only us humans, who create every war, who break every heart, who give life's philosophies.

Who in the world isn't selfish? No matter how much you want to be less self-centered and give in, deep inside yourself you know that you would regret your every action. You know you hope that the one you have given in to will one day realise how much you were worth, how that little sacrifice crafted a lesson in their life, how much it mattered to them. And then, you wait for reflection, you wait for appreciation.

There is nothing in this world that is perfect, nothing that lasts forever. Everything can change in a flash, there need not be a reason. No one can expect anyone to change, to give up what they have been for the past years of their lives and put on a brand new cover.

No one can do that, no one can change. I believe that one can only improve oneself, and there is no reason why one should give up any chance to learn and be a better person.

2005-12-22T01:16:00.000-08:00

Man.

Have you ever wondered how amazing we actually are? Us human beings, we are such complicated creatures that we continue to amaze ourselves.

Seriously, how come we're so sure what we feel is really how the feeling is supposed to be? Just like the amazing world that we see. Each of us sees the world in our own colours. What we recognize as blue might be what others see as blue to them as well. Have you ever thought, though, that they might not be the same blue at all? It is just that it had already been registered in our own minds from the start.

How come we feel loved? Why do we feel warmth and belonging? Where do these come from? The ability to have moods and feelings are etched in us right from the moment we were formed, aren't they?

OH GODDAMMIT, what EXACTLY is love? How come what I think is love, others argue against it? Isn't love a strong feeling? If so, how can people develop it so easily? How come it can peter out so easily as well? Are you telling me what I'm feeling isn't love?

Hey look, there's no other explanation why I feel this way at all. If I do not know it myself, how can anyone else? And this is it; this is exactly what love is.

2005-12-22T00:49:00.000-08:00

1. I have no life.

2. It's going to remain this way until i am free.

3. Too slow. I must do more homework!

2005-12-21T02:52:00.000-08:00

Achy Breaky Body

Ahem. My entire body is soooo aching at the moment. In case you're wondering why:
Dance practice 16th, 19th(9.00-3.30), 20th, 21th(12-3.30).

Okay, had dance for 4 continuous days and i have another practice next wednesday.*groans* All the back bends, splits and stuff are getting the hell of me...

In the meantime, when i was at dance practice, my cousin broke the table lamp. It still works, but it means that the light is really close to the table and it slumps like nobody's business. I have no table lamp to study with now. =( The demise of my darling table lamp. It was an extremely durable table lamp you know. It accompanied me through countless ordeals since I don't know when. I think I had it since primary school. Since P4. LOL

On the other hand, it's Wednesday now, and i better finish my homework quickly. Ahhh. I shall go ask someone to give me a massage.

2005-12-20T04:45:00.000-08:00

great..
i have decided not to harp on the fact that i am going to miss yet another episode of winx.

For happiness is a choice

I cannot go around with an obvious scowl on my face. I cannot go around crying my heart out. I cannot do that. I cannot pull those around me down with me. I cannot affect others.I want to maintain that cheery, energetic image of me that I usually portray. I don't care if it is a mask, I don't care if I'm lying to the world, because the world does not deserve another "downturned lip" expression in it's midst.
Nothing can bring me down. Nothing...

LOl...
I am like so over reacting..

ok, the moral of the story is to always find someone to help you record down the show that you are going to miss, which i couldn't because i don't know who to ask T.T

The Strength of Eternity

Prologue

"How long is eternity?" pondered an eight-year-old Melaney.

Her best friend and partner in crime, the nine-year-old Lucas, furrowed his brows together--either puzzled by the question or unsure of how to answer it.

"I heard Amelia talking on the phone yesterday to Jules. She was all giggly and stuff; it was disgusting. She said she'd love some boy named Josh for all eternity," explained Melaney

Lucas accompanied her story with gagging noises. It was a globally known fact that boy crazy Amelia was, at thirteen, into the girly romance that sent Melaney and Lucas's stomachs gurgling.

Melaney ignored Lucas's outburst, quite accustomed to it by now. "She just loved Kevin last week! So I figured an eternity can't be that long."

Lucas looked at her doubtfully, deciding to provide his view on the whole situation. "But my mom said that when you get married it's for eternity. I know my grandparents have been married for longer than a week."

Melaney nodded, then said, "So that means an eternity is for how long you're married?"

Puckering out his bottom lip, Lucas shook his head no. "An eternity is just a really long time."

Deciding that was a sufficient answer Melaney grinned happily. Providing her next question, she asked "Do you think we'll be friends for an eternity?"

"Of course," stated Lucas with conviction.

Her smiling broadening even more Melaney offered with a twinkling eye, "Then that settles it. Eternity is forever."

Lucas matched her grin with one of his own. Soon the two began a swinging contest, seeing who could reach the highest. Pumping legs and hysterical laughter soon left their insightful conversation in the dust. After all, such questions were common of the duo and therefore looked upon with indifference.

fictionpress.com rocks

2005-12-18T07:22:00.000-08:00

Man...
i can't believe i am going to miss another exciting episode of winx T.T
because of dance tomorrow and i am so going to be dead,because soo lao shi is coming back.

BUT! Luckily, i found this fanstatic site. http://www.winxclub.tv, that allows me to view the episode that i missed.

~~wahaha~~

2005-12-17T06:08:00.000-08:00

i couldn't go back to woodlands primary because i woke up late...

ARRGH
there's nothing to write about

ahh
Quotes from The Notebook!

I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul and to me, this has always been enough.

Poetry wasn't written to be analysed; it was meant to inspire without reason, to touch without understanding. (And how I agree. =) I love reading poems but I hate analysing them. Hate with a passion.)

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past thousand years and a prelude to what will come.

Be composed - be at ease with me...
Not till the sun excludes you do I exclude you.
Not till the waters refuse to glisten for you
and the leaves refuse to rustle for you, do my
words refuse to glisten and rustle
for you.

I still love The Notebook and its soppy mushy lovey-dovey quotes and poems. =))

oh yea..
and i have to go for dental appointment later in the afternoon
yea.. right..
and i am going to extract my teeth..
I AM SO SCARED T.T

And. I have just realised that i have just wrote a very long entry... it is just like breaking a world record --;

dang..
i should just delete this post

who thinks banging my head against a wall is a good idea?

2005-12-16T04:32:00.000-08:00

and then... and then... and then... and then... i saw.... and then... and then... and then....~~i want to die~~... right now... and then...

2005-12-16T01:03:00.000-08:00

dear diary

1.)meet jaslin at the mrt station

2.)arrived exactly at 8

3.)went to school together [ at least till jurong east]

4.)arrive later than 8.20, so lerae board the train without me

5.)arrive at school on a crowded train

6.)was not late for dance

7.)dancedancedance

8.)went to jec to eat with haiwei, eileen, lerae, yantong and er jie

9.)bought mcdippers<= is it how you spell it?

10.)brought our food up outside the arcade to eat

11.)watch the people dance para-para

12.)was the last to finish

13.)went back home

-slap me please-

2005-12-14T07:39:00.000-08:00

...We not your whoever. We get pissed too. Please have some basic manners. We are not your servant. It's okay if you don't say thank you once in a while, I don't mind. But please. I hate people taking me for granted. Mind your manners. I've, i mean we, have never been horrible to you. Even if we did, we always apologised.

I can't believe I'm wasting so much time and effort here. Damn, you don't even acknowledge it, let alone appreciate.

Rude, ungrateful people irritate the hell out of me.

Today was a nice day. You came along and smirched it in a split second.

You know, it's people like these that make me feel tall and powerful. Such wonderful ego-boosters. They make me feel so much cleverer.

2005-12-13T23:14:00.000-08:00

Don't usually put music for my blog but KELLY!!!! oh well..

frikkin hell...
i have just learnt that lbb is going to continue being our form teacher next year. BAH. HE IS SO DISGUSTING. UTTERLY GROTESQUE, EVEN.

That lousy boo boo... wtf wtf

2005-12-12T01:25:00.000-08:00

Went to the library with ka ying today.

I suddenly had the strange urge to talk about Nguyen Tuong Van although I know it's not a very good time to discuss sombre things like that right after talking about going to te library with kaying today.

Ok. i know. He has already been executed. However, me and ka ying talked about it on our way to the library. Part of me thinks "Well he WAS stupid enough to bring so much drugs into SG when SG takes a very harsh view on drugs." And another (larger) part goes "But hey, DEATH SENTENCE! For someone who only did this just to get some quick cash to settle his brother's money problems? And the poor mother!"

Labor's Tanya Plibersek has also expressed sadness, saying she thinks she knows why Singapore may not allow Nguyen's mother a final hug.

"How could you ever let go if you were a mother?" she said.

"How could you ever let go?"

What makes me sad is, he is already dead.

And the question remains.

Would we give our stand so readily, and say "Hang him, because he's a damn drug trafficker and all drugs are evil so drug traffickers DESERVE TO DIE."

Would we give ourselves a pat on the back and celebrate our firm stand on the death penalty despite international pressure?

Or would we not?

What if that was your son?

Do we, as mere human beings, decide whether a fellow human being deserves to die?

okok, i know, what's he point? He is already dead...

2005-12-10T07:20:00.000-08:00

WAHAHA...a very very early birthday present from ying ling and chew fei. Mind you, my birthday is arrives only on 30th of january. They were happily trying to predict the future me and trying to make the girl look like the future me and they did a good job,[i look all cute, innocent,______ insert compliment here, yadayada],except...

if u look carefully, there is freckles just above the mouth -.- and they actually wanted to use red to make it look like pimples. how nice you guys are...

Well... i still APPRECIATE IT ((: thanks, u guys..

2005-12-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

In a few days time...
it will be all over

ALL OVER

It's worth the hard work! It's worth the frustration and the boredom and the exhaustion...
I am about to finish my homework!!!
and i have just realise we have approximately 28 homeworks to do! Very appetizing indeed-.-

Okok. Rain in Full House says GOGO JIAYOU! Hahahahaa

2005-12-06T21:21:00.001-08:00

i finally decided to do this...

RULES OF THE GAME;
1. post five weird/random stuffs about yourself.
2. at the end of your post, list the names of 5 people who you want next to do this.
3. leave a comment "you are tagged" in their blog and tell them to read your blog for rules.

5 weird/random stuffs about me;
1.i get pissed off rather easily X_X
2.i can sleep on all occassion[i can even sleep when i am grabbing the pole of the mrt station] except when i din finishes my home work =X
3.i keep losing my things. BAH. Come to think of it i have already lost 2 nike bottles, my wallet and pencil case and countless of pens, erasers and normal bottle .
4.i always made up my mind not to talk to someone for a few days but i will just forget and talk to that person like afew minutes later?
5.i will go all excited when i see a shuai-ge on tv and starts putting his picture as my wall paper an paste a picture of his face in my bedroom. hardeharhar and this often last fot like 2 weeks b4 i change again...

next 5 people to do this quiz;
1.jaslin
2.kaying
3.sophia
4.eileen
5.haiwei<=hai wei did it before ><;; she just told me/chewfei

o.O;
HAHA

2005-12-06T00:02:00.000-08:00

And One Day
.
.
I'll break free.
Out of this vicious cycle.
"I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly."
Out of this monotony.
Out of this pointless, endless, MINDLESS rat race.
"Because even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat. "
I shall live a life a thousand times more fufilling than now.
And I'll start today.
You just wait and see
.........
.......
....
...
..
AIYAH CANNOT LAH.
So many homework sia, must finish leh.
how to finish??
if i never finish sure die on...
how? ='(

2005-12-05T21:13:00.000-08:00

I LOVE FAR EAST!

dumdumdumdumdum~

Went to orchard with my mum and sis today and we saw adrain and belinda =]]]

2005-12-04T06:05:00.000-08:00

i shall now declare... after much biting and chewing... that i have three big and nice ulcers.

2005-12-04T04:26:00.000-08:00

KID NUMBER ONE'S BIRTHDAY!

Me, my mum and sis, went to kid number one's veggie birthday. Veggie food was ok but i was sian sian sian sian all the way...except for the fact that i laughed for a few minutes when kid number one have chocolate all over her mouth den changing to a moustache to a little japanese man man moustache. lol. Went shopping after that. Wahaha. We went from sunplaza to junction 8 to bugis then to causway point. And i am feeling lethargic now... oh no... i shall persevere to watch my dear tv show.

At least i did buy sth though =PpP

2005-12-03T12:10:00.000-08:00

life just couldn't get any messier...

man... i have bitten myself for the dunno-how-many-times-th of the day
i carn believe that i could get this lucky... having one little kid in my house is enough... but two.. bleh
and now one of them is trying to somehow trying to "style" my hair and it ended up in the most horrible state...
and yes, the other as always is trying to fight me off my computer so that he can play his beloved Pinball...
YES?
u don't want to fight with me do you? -.-

2005-12-02T23:56:00.000-08:00

Am quite proud of myself.
Guess! =)
But NO! I'm not being complacent. Ahahahah

2005-12-02T02:53:00.000-08:00

Imagine daisies with beautiful pure white petals surrounding the yellow centre.

Now imagine a clay figurine of a head with its eyes closed peacefully. And its top half of the face was broken off. It still looked peaceful, cos the daises are in it, filling up the otherwise cold and unfeeling, almost eerie empty space of the top half of the head with some kind of peace.

It is a work of art.

Now then, picture this. This beautiful work of art. And a can of light blue paint. The paint is splashed mercilessly on to the daisies. Now you see semi-white daises. They are no longer pure white. They have parts of their bodies painted light blue. And some of the paint runs down on the head's throat. Like light blue blood.

A fallen daisy lies still on the ground, no longer white. I thought it looked beautiful. The whole thing still looked wonderful, perhaps even better.

The work of art is ruined. The thing that replaced it becomes yet another work of art.

They call it tainted. I call it change for the better.

2005-12-01T04:35:00.000-08:00

i am pissd off again...
for a totally different reason...

waaaa...kids

2005-11-30T05:02:00.000-08:00

Homecoming

I'm home. After an exhausting 3 day 2 night chalet. Too lazy to give details, but I seriously miss my home now. I mean, who wouldn't if you knew that you'll come home to an astonishing pile of assignments???

2005-11-27T16:53:00.000-08:00

water disaster

went to sophia's hse together with ka ying to make water balloon for tomorrow's chalet =]]
As we were pumping and pumping the balloons... YES. We ended up having a water balloon fight. Me and ka ying went further to call Jaslin and spray water at her when she came. wahaha. What a surprise. Jaslin din ended up the wettest though. Me and Ka ying, we turn out the worst that we can be. Wahaha. We ended up havint to buy more.. lol.. However,we did come up with a conclusion of wearing black tml. Maybe not much of a help to you, but i only have one black shirt and i guess, i will have to wear that.

2005-11-26T05:05:00.000-08:00

I often wonder.

Who would grieve if I died one day?
Who would cry?

Who would heave a sigh of relief and think, "Thank god she's gone."

Some people may seem amicable on the surface. You don't know how evil they are. Backstabbing. Rumours. Stuff they do behind your back. I'm lucky I never meet a lot of incidents like that in my life. Most of them don't happen to me. On the rare occasions that they really do, well let's just say it hurt a lot. Oh man. People. What complex creatures humans are.

2005-11-26T01:53:00.000-08:00

IF I LIE DOWN I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET UP AGAIN

today was a tiring day and i am now aching all over... *pouts* freakingly tired.
And in case you are wondering why, i have been in school dancing for 4 whole hours..

Went to kfc with hai wei, yan tong and eileen after that and we met an ex-rv student that is at least 36++... How amusing... A very innocent yan tong got scolded by her just because she came to say hi to me and hai wei... Taken as cutting queue.. bleah><

feeling kind at heart *gleam* i made a donation wahaha and went back home -.-

what a nice day it has been...

2005-11-25T00:58:00.000-08:00

homework undone
homework undone
homework undone
homework undone
homework undone
homework undone
homework undone
homework undone
homework undone

bleh.. sobss.. =(

2005-11-23T21:50:00.000-08:00

A striking colour in the dark. The only yellow rose standing in the drought when all the other flowers have wilted. A caressing breeze. A ray of sunshine. The first snowflake.

It's not hard to dream!

"It's the little things that matter, after all. The retards that keep me sane. "

"We shall draw from the heart of suffering, the means of inspiration and survival." -CHURCHILL.

The state of one's life is nothing more than a reflection of one's state of mind. everything changes but everything will stay the same when one day.. People realise that a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. this future, my future, belongs to those who believe in the beauty of dreams.. Dreams that can surely be revived even when dreaming has ceased...

2005-11-22T00:33:00.000-08:00

I want to blog, and I have not for so long, and so much have happened, yet when it comes to blogging there isn't much to blog about.HOWEVER, I had been browsing webpages, and even though there is nothing interesting in my life, there can always be something interesting on the net. And guess what? Someone not only fugged Avril Lavigne, he even predicted what she'll look in the future. When she grows old. And he did quite a good job. Man she looks worse than just fucking ugly:
(Warning: The content below is not suitable for those with weak stomachs.)

ewww... well she looks much better now anyway...

Unrelated

2005-11-21T00:13:00.000-08:00

Love is selfish. Love is not about giving and just giving. Love is about what you want, because no one is going to turn around and thank you because you smothered your own feelings in the beginning to make someone else happy. No one is going to pity you in the end but yourself. No one is going to bury themselves in your world of grieve and regret with you in the end. Look who is going to be alone after all?

Therefore, I should bury myself in my HOMEWORK.

2005-11-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

*pouts*

My blog is getting boring.

28th is 6k'04 chalet.. hope it will be fun =))
miss primary school life alot.. haiz
Even though primary school life is over, friendships is still deeply etched in my heart and will definitely go on and stay for a long time. Even with us taking our so many different paths, I'm sure all of us would have a place in each other's heart for a long time coming.

Or is it so easy to completely erase one from another's mind?

2005-11-17T02:56:00.000-08:00

awww.. so shuai~ skyhigh is simply MOUTHWATERING!!! Go watch it, u will go ga-ga and jump in awe and amazement over the cast...U will definitely adore the tentalising treats